Monday, March 18, 2013

Growing In Our Hearts

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone
but still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single moment,
you didn't grow under my heart but in it.

I'm sure a lot of people think I'm a bit nuts, but I firmly believe that our dreams are more than just our subconscious working through the issues we face in our daily lives.  I believe that sometimes our dreams are glimpses into the future.  I am pretty sure I had just such a dream the other night.

For the past several years, I have had recurring dreams about a baby girl.  I am pretty confident these dreams were my mind's way of working through my feelings surrounding our daughter Madelynn's death.  The other night, however, I had a dream about twin boys.  The dream was extremely vivid and I still remember it quite clearly.  Mason and I went to the hospital  to meet the birth mother who had chosen us, as well as the babies as they had already been born.  Shane was on his way from work and was going to meet us there.  I took a wrong turn and got lost along the way and  I had to stop and ask for directions. I can still picture the street signs in my mind, although the only detail I remember is that the number 600 was in the address of the hospital. It was either early Spring or late Fall because Mason and I were both wearing coats. When we got there, we went straight to the birth mother's hospital room.  As we rounded the corner and headed towards her room, a male nurse was coming out with the babies in one of those little hospital cribs.  He was taking them back to the nursery.  I can still picture them both vividly.  They were biracial and they were sleeping peacefully facing each other.  We went into the room to meet the birth mother.  I can still picture her vividly as well. Her coloring led me to believe that she was of Hispanic decent and her hair was cut in a cute pixie hair style.  She introduced herself and I remember her name was long; she had 4 names and one of them was Theresa. She was in her late 20s or early 30s and was very sweet. She was taken with Mason and started asking him questions about his iPad.

I woke up from this dream at about 5 in the morning and wasn't able to go back to sleep.  It was just so real!!  Call it women's intuition or whatever you want to, but ever since we began the adoption journey, I have had a strong feeling that we will be adopting a biracial child. We are 100% open to it and have been from day one.  I told Shane about my dream as soon as he woke up.  Over the past 6 months, I've asked him how he would feel if we were chosen to adopt twins, but he hasn't really considered that it might be a possibility. When I asked him again the other morning after telling him about my dream, he seemed to have more of an open mind. I know some will probably think I am just getting my hopes up, but I am choosing to take this dream as a sign.  I can't say for sure that every detail will come true, but I know that we are VERY open to the possibility.

Our future child(ren) is most definitely growing in our hearts and we are anxiously awaiting their arrival!!

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