Some of God's Greatest Gifts are Unanswered Prayers!

We got the call yesterday afternoon that we've been waiting for, WE WERE CHOSEN!!!!  When our consultant told me the good news, I instantly got chills and I was shaking and of course started crying. I couldn't WAIT to tell Shane. He was pretty elated too!

Throughout this year-long journey, we've heard repeatedly that our baby would find us when the time was right.  We actually heard about the couple who chose us about 8 hours before we were notified about the stork drop situation.  I thought we were being presented to them that same afternoon and when we were contacted about the baby girl who was already born, I assumed they hadn't chosen us.  I prayed incessantly Thursday morning that we would be chosen for the stork drop situation.  Evidently, God knew she wasn't meant to join our family as he already had another sweet little one chosen for us instead.

We still need to fill out some paperwork and such before we are "officially" matched but I just spoke with the expectant mother and it was like talking to an old friend. She and I have a lot in common.  When I told Shane about our conversation and forwarded him the pics she texted me, he said they seem like people we would hang out with. This is SO what I was hoping for!!!  Our journey's not over yet, but barring any unforeseen obstacles we are living proof that some of God's greatest gifts truly are unanswered prayers!!

What Might Have Been . . .

We will have been on our adoption journey for exactly a year tomorrow.  We came SO close this week to finally completing our family.  We were being considered for a stork drop situation, which means the baby was already born.  The birth mother ended up choosing another family though.  As hard as I tried not to get my hopes up, it was pretty much impossible.  The worst part was, I already felt a connection to this sweet baby girl.  I had never laid eyes on her, and had only just found out about her 24-hours earlier, but I really thought she was meant to join our family.

I was pretty upset last night when we found out that we hadn't been chosen.  It felt like once again we had a huge carrot dangled in front of us, only to have it snatched away at the last minute.  I couldn't understand why I would have felt such a strong connection if she was never meant to be ours.  Then it hit me.  While I NEVER want to try to replace Madelynn, nor would it EVER be possible, this baby girl represented a second chance for us.  She was born 3 weeks premature and would be spending a few weeks in the NICU. If we had been chosen to adopt her, we would have had an opportunity that we never got with Madelynn; we would have actually been able to bring our baby girl home from the NICU.  It would by no means have erased the pain and heartache we carry with us on a daily basis, and likely will until the day we die, but it might have helped heal the hole in our hearts just a tiny bit.

Shane and I both had already been trying to figure out the logistics as far as going to meet our new daughter. We were trying to decide whether it would be easiest to fly or drive.  We were both leaning towards driving as when you adopt out of state you have to worry about ICPC, which stands for Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children.  In a nutshell, the laws in the state that you're adopting from and the state you live in need to jive. The sending state needs to send paperwork to the receiving state who then needs to approve the adoption before you are allowed to go home. ICPC can take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks Given the fact that we would need clothes and such for all four of us, plus all the paraphernalia that goes along with a newborn, we had pretty much figured that driving would be our best bet.

Shane had also called our insurance company to find out what we would need in order to add her to ensure she was covered.  While he was remaining calm and collected about the whole thing, I of course was already in panic mode.  Depending on when we would have been able to go meet her, Mason and I might have had to go alone as Shane wouldn't have been done with class for a few more weeks.  On top of that, we have barely any baby girl clothes aside from maybe a dozen preemie and newborn outfits. I was trying to figure out whether we should buy a bunch of stuff before we left or just wait until we got there and get everything. Needless to say, we were both pretty stressed out and anxious all day.

My heart still aches today and will likely do so for several more weeks.  We were certain that our precious miracle was within our grasp, but alas, she was meant to be someone else's miracle instead.  Until we are finally matched, I will be thinking about that sweet baby girl and wondering what might have been . . .

Taking it One Day at a Time

Things have been super hectic for the past several months which is why I've neglected the blog.  We had a possible baby-born situation pop up mid-June.  A friend who is also trying to adopt had been matched with an expectant mother towards the end of May.  About a week after being matched though she and her husband were told by their attorney that it was a scam. The expectant mother had never been pregnant but had purchased medical records and an ultrasound online.  They were pretty shook up but thankfully they had another expectant mother who had been interested in matching with them as well.  They matched with her and were anxiously awaiting the delivery of their precious little one.

A week before that baby was scheduled to be delivered, they were contacted by the first expectant mother. She had in fact been pregnant after all and had delivered a few days earlier. She wanted to know if they were still interested in adopting the baby. Since they couldn't afford to adopt both, my friend asked if we were interested.  Of course we were!! I sent her a link to our online profile and she forwarded it to the birth mother.  As it turned out, she still really wanted my friend and her husband to be the parents of her little one and since they weren't available, she decided to parent herself.    

That was the closest we'd gotten so far and to still end up empty handed was kind of a tough pill to swallow. We had signed on with an adoption consultant at the end of May though so we just picked ourselves up and dusted ourselves off and jumped back in feet first.  We had a few situations pop up with our consultant over the next few weeks, one of which we asked her to submit our profile for but nothing came of that either. Things were pretty quiet until the second week in August.  Our consultant sent us info on a specific expectant mother that she thought we might be interested in.  We prayed about it for a day but it just didn't seem like the right fit.  We let her know that night and the next afternoon she sent us info on another expectant mother and told us if we were interested to submit our profile.  We did so and were contacted by the agency that the expectant mother had signed on with.  We tried to speak with the expectant mother several times over the next few days but it just never worked out.  The agency had several other situations that they thought we might be interested in, one in particular that was such a perfect fit that it seemed like it was too good to be true.

This particular expectant mother was looking for a couple in their 30s who could financially provide for her child.  She enjoyed scrapbooking and wanted to pursue a bachelor's degree in Education.  She couldn't have been a more perfect fit for our family!!!  Over the course of the next several days we tried to officially match with this expectant mother but it just wasn't in the cards.  After doing some research and getting mixed messages about fees and such as we were communicating with the agency, we just didn't feel like things were being handled ethically.  As painful as it was to walk away, we had no choice.  

We were pretty devastated by the last situation not working out and the last few weeks have been pretty rough.  We even considered calling it quits a few times.  We feel in our hearts though that we are meant to add one more precious little one to our family, so we're going to stay the course.  We have begun researching a few different agencies and attorneys that have been highly recommended on several adoption forums that I frequent.  We are strongly considering signing on with one of the agencies but we want to do a bit more research first. We don't want any surprises like we had with the last agency!!  

In less than a week, on 31 August, we will have been on this journey for exactly one year.  We sincerely hope and pray that we are getting closer to finding our precious little miracle!!! Until then, we will simply take things one day at a time.