Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Popularity Contest

Some days, it feels like waiting to be matched to adopt is the ultimate popularity contest. There are more waiting families than expectant mothers considering placing their babies for adoption. Each family is hoping & praying they'll stand out above the rest, but the truth is none of us know which detail about us or our family an expectant mother will connect with. 

It occurred to me yesterday while responding to a post on an online adoption forum, that to an outsider we must all look like high school girls vying for the attention of the most popular boy in school. An expectant mother posted looking for advice & several of us commented with our own perspective. Most of us that commented are currently waiting to be matched & all have links to our profiles either on FB or other profile hosting sites in our signatures.

I'm often hesitant to comment on an expectant mother's post b/c I'm sure others think I'm doing so only to get her to look at our profile & hopefully choose us. There was another post by a different expectant mother a few weeks back asking for sites to view online profiles. Of course everyone that commented was a prospective adoptive parent & they all suggested profile sites where they have their own profiles listed. The desperation was almost palpable. 

I must admit, some days the whole process gets to me. I will occasionally look at someone else's profile or, very once in a while like today, a profile that someone has paid for advertising on will pop up in my newsfeed on FB. It's impossible not to compare our profile to those other families' & wonder how we would rank in an expectant mother's eyes.

Obviously since we've already adopted once someone liked what they saw. This time around is different though since we're specifying girl. I also worry that the fact that we already have children & are no longer in our mid 20s to early 30s will be viewed as strikes against us. I guess time will tell. Until then, I will continue to keep hope alive that there is an expectant mother out there who will fall in love with our family & bless us with the ultimate gift. 

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